Living with a person who has a certain addiction isn’t easy, and so is divorcing them. Dealing with the constant change of mind and mood of your partner can be exhausting and irritating yet you have to finish the process and get your divorce decree. To do that, find out how to deal with such a partner, prove drug abuse in custody, and stay sane at the time of divorce. The following tips are for you to use and have as painless marriage dissolution as possible.
Get legal support
When divorcing an addict, getting proper legal advice is crucial to not screw up the case and avoid mistakes. Hiring an expensive lawyer is not necessary, especially if you can’t afford one. You can find the information you need to get divorced from open sources like websites of local courts, clerk’s offices, and current divorce laws in your state. Also, turning to non-profit organizations helping to get over addictions can be useful: you can not only get the assistance of volunteer lawyers but also provide your partner with mental support in fighting their addiction.
Build up a strategy to carry out in the court
In case you’re cooperating with an attorney, they’ll do that for you to make your claims straight and logically connected. Thus, you’ll only need to provide proof of your partner’s abusing drugs or other substances and follow the scheme of presenting your position offered by your lawyer.
If you’re going to do that on your own, learn the current divorce laws and find similar cases to yours to understand how the divorce petitioner presented their claims and whether they won the case with it. Remember that your divorce petition should be consistent, based on the facts rather than your thoughts and impressions of your partner, and contain all the information that allows a judge to understand your reasons for divorce. The fewer questions the court has to you as the spouse of an addict, the better.
Clarify your demands regarding child custody and support
The cases where kids are involved are tougher to realize yet you have to put effort into getting their interests protected.
Depending on the type of addiction your spouse has, their lifestyle, income, and attitude towards the children, you can claim different things in court. If they abuse drugs and alcohol and beat your kids, you can ask for sole custody so that your partner will be restricted in the visitation of your kids. In case they have gambling, binge eating, or other food-related disorder and don’t demonstrate cruelty towards children, they can be ordered to visit them, but not be their custodian as the result of the trial.
Therefore, you have to keep in mind all the aspects of your spouse’s behavior to formulate your custody claims clearly.
Organize a safe living space for your kids
In the worst case, you may need to find another place to live with your children during a divorce to protect them from their parent with an addiction. Before renting a new house, make sure it’s convenient to the kids’ permanent place of studying to cause less stress for them.
The process of seeking and renting a new place to live may take a while, so don’t hesitate to turn to legal counsel to take part in the process of finding social housing for you and your kids.
File your divorce papers
Once all the preparatory stages are done, hurry up to file your Pennsylvania divorce papers. Filling them out on your own may be complicated, so consider using an online service for the preparation of your documents. It’s safe, fast, and will help you avoid postponing your case due to the need to revise your divorce forms.
Work on getting certain court orders
Child abuse and family violence shouldn’t stay away from the court if you’ve been suffering from your partner with addiction. Being sincere with the court and able to prove the abuse from your soon-to-be-ex is necessary for a judge to issue court orders forbidding your partner to reach out to you and your kids. Don’t be afraid to look like a victim while doing it, because it’s what you are and you shouldn’t feel guilty for it.
Be ready for a long case to solve
When addiction, any type of violence, and kids are involved in a case, you shouldn’t hope for it to be finalized fast. You will spend a few months getting your marriage terminated, so use this time to restore your life and make it better for yourself and your children: let them start new hobbies, get back to the fitness routine, or concentrate on your job. Do everything that makes you feel calmer and happier, and don’t blame yourself for the failed marriage.
Get psychological assistance
Codependency is happening every now and then in families with one partner being an addict. Therefore, we suggest that you take control of your mental and psychological health and turn to specialists for help. You may not feel like being ill or unstable, yet your psychics have been impacted by your addictive partner and the need to adapt to their behavior. Therefore, getting therapy will be a smart decision and a great contribution to a better future for you and your children.
Stick to your initial claims
If you refuse to get professional help regarding your mental state, you may fall into the trap of your partner’s manipulations in court. Being interdependent with your spouse for years, you may feel tempted to change your demands as your case is being reviewed. For the sake of a safe life after divorce, don’t do it. Remember why you started this process and what wasn’t right for a long time, and be committed to your kids more than to your abusive partner.
Imagine the life you want to live after a divorce
Every time you feel that you want to give up your fight in court, remind yourself of a life you’re planning to have after it’s over. Plan future trips, think about your potential accomplishments, and dream wild to distract yourself from low thoughts. Also, don’t forget about the small steps you take during a divorce to get closer to that day: all those meetings with attorneys, papers preparation, hearings, and collecting witnesses count toward your new single life.
